Like I didnt know until that moment just how much I wanted to be a father. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. It was the fault of the psychiatrist. Fine. Its envy, isnt it? But- I guess I do care what my peers think about me. So I suggest you do not tangle with me anymore. She looks at me and says, Are you aware that you only have one testicle? Well, I nearly dropped, or I would have only she was holding me by the and obviously one of them hadnt dropped, or somethin. I know all that. I thought you could just change my life and show me the whole world. If you marry me, your parents will be ecstatic, and you will have lost a lifelong battle of defiance against them. What does a girl have to do these days? The original play "Hello Dolly" was adapted from. Am I really willing to throw all those years of friendship away based onwhat? I mean, best in ages. Tom: Every time I think Im over the hump, Ill have a dream or Ill see some girl who looks like her from the back. I know every girl at school except Monica is in love with him. I dont know how this happened. Why do you look on me? I do know that I am, and I cant overcome it, I mean. Im okay! In this lesson, we will examine this peculiarly successful musical. Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her; Thats the bit I dont like, frankly. As youll see from some of the monologues on this list, some are simply just lighter in nature. Oh shit, maybe not. " from Fourteen " Tommy Has Proposed " from An Ideal Husband (Mabel) " You Won't Misunderstand Me " from The Goal (Sir Stephen) " You're Quite a Girl " from 42nd Street (Julian) " You've Got to Come Back a Star " from 42nd Street (Julian) For more information, visit hct.org. Sometimes you just want a fucking still life or landscape or soup can or comic book! You know the problem with pyromania? Why were you talking to Janis Ian? HELLO DOLLY MONOLOGUE Leesburg Blues Brothers Tribute 100 subscribers Subscribe 2.5K views 10 years ago Cliff here reciting the Cornelius Hackle courtroom monologue from the staged musical. Prom is the quintessential teenage experience. Is he serious? It was so retarded and then in the fall when we started high school all her hair was cut off and she was totally weird and now I think she does heroin. Gorgeous, fresh-faced, heels, wearing a skirt, new top, little bit sexy, on my way to save my caf and yes, I am strutting. Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Dolly is a strong, high-spirited character who loves life and has a great deal of charm. Therefore no marvel though Demetrius So even though youve technically lost, youve really won. Here's what you need to know about Cornelius: he's an incredibly innocent man, he's never been kissed, and he's full of, well, wonder. I dont think hes breathing. And then I worry about whether he can tell my hearts going crazy, and I have to act really cool. Everything you wanna learn, you could just look up online. l realize that it was Your divine hand that disqualified Tammy, and now Im asking that You go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong, so that I may carry out Your will on Earth as it is in Heaven. Never have. Another 1 win & 13 nominations. Boo was built a bit like a guinea pig. Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? Read more: How to rehearse a monologue, What is a monologue? I had it on the day I met your father. And the thing was, I blamed her for it. Then, everything about me was entered into a computer where they created a model of my mind. And thank God we didnt have any children. Cornelius Hackl: I've lost everything: my job, my future, everything people *think* is important, but I don't care - because even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life, I shall be a ditch-digger who once had a wonderful day. No, the world must be peopled. What Im sure of is this- we need to stop. Bores you?! Pat, pat. Zelda: I dont think so. So of course the rugby guys and the rowing guys and the wrestling guys would come in at night and theyd pin me down and get it out of their system the rage. And for a split second Im thinking YES! In the end, everyone ends up together with his or her desired partner. I mean, there I was just up on the roof with Marissa talking, laughing, having a great time. library of free monologues. Cornelius Hackl: We're gonna close the store. Were partners today. Web. Rudolph Reisenweber: No expression. This monologue is from Thornton Wilder's "The Matchmaker". How about Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Judy Garland, Liza Minelli, Marvin Gaye, Benny Goodman, and Frank Sinatra, among others. One is Cornelius's 'wonderful things' monologue. I thought you were just creative and I thought you were just smarter than me and more sensitive and more interesting. A return from Miss Mortimer again? Warren: petrol and put a match to them. Added to which: he was a very pale man, heavy-breather I did wonder briefly if he might actually be Death, come to get me. You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, It's been long enough, Ephraim! In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. I must not seem proud; happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. copyright 2003-2023 Study.com. What are you ashamed that we did it? You would be amazed, a lot of shopping malls. I try to imagine how hed notice me and fall hopelessly in love with me and all that. Are you honestly and truly taking Katrina to the dance? Our time together But I think that were very different people. Not every painting has to rip your guts out and expose your soul! I didnt tell her parents the truth. I can see that now. Wilder's uproarious farce about love and money, stars the irrepressible busybody, Dolly Gallagher Levi, who inspired the Broadway musical, Hello, Dolly! Like, if I blew her off to hang out with Kyle she would be like, Why didnt you call me back! All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Ruben: But I cant help it. It is, however, a peculiar type of script and does not have the single most important aspect of acting which is listening/reacting. It means, Kayleigh, no more fun. It isn't overly long, like a Shakespeare monologue, but it is poignant and energetic. Anyway, I go off and a couple of weeks later I go back for the ultrasound. ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! So many you should go change, and then we can be in love at another time. The New York Daily News wrote: 'I wouldn't say that Jerry Herman's score is memorable.' Sorry! is boisterous and charming from start to finish. I mean, youd never know you were in a box, would you? She says, Surely you must have noticed? But that was the thing. Isnt that the most pathetic thing youve ever heard? Web. Every evening for all these years I've put out the cat, I've locked the door, I've made myself a little rum toddy, and before I went to bed I said a prayer, thanking God that I was independent, that no one else's life was mixed up with mine. Yeah, growling. Im trying to get something started, and she up and turns on the light and starts to cry and says weve got to talk. is a 1969 American musical romantic comedy film based on the 1964 Broadway production of the same name, which was based on Thornton Wilder 's play The Matchmaker. How to approach a comedy monologue: Dolly Levi: It makes me feel good to have so many friends. I am exactly the type of man your parents want you to marry. She accidentally killed herself. She is the lead in a musical which shares the same name as the song. boarding school! 1 May 2023. Thats the thing. So, its official. Its just that for a moment I thought Martin was still with me and I panicked. Oh Mrs. Molloy, what shall we do? Too many actors play up the comedy, trying to make a monologue funnier than it is. In a minute someones going to bang on the lid and tell me to come out. This is my friend. Okay. I see no more in you than in the ordinary Look, mate, I dont know whats happening I just arrived, right? Back to square one. I hope youre not suggesting Im marrying your father for his money. I cant open sardines and answer the phone. So I start tellin her about my mole and cancer and all this and she starts feelin me like she had plastic gloves on and I was lyin on this bed, like a baby almost . Im a planet. Over the wretched? No, Im not in Spain, dear. Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. And bein a good father like encouragin your kids, givin them a tenner if theyre stuck, askin them how they are, always knowin if somethin was up, bein there for them, bein there for them always, always givin your life for them, givin your life to them fuckin hell, thats the kind of person you want to be somebody, more of those kind of people, the kind of person I want to be. And I didnt wanna, like, marry you? Why? But then I was thinkin, well what would I like better have a woman or a man feeling me? But I feel it coming up now, more and more, and I just think- No, thats bullshit, actually, the whole work thing. Next we have the cast of characters that are the objects of Dolly's matchmaking: Cornelius Hackl, Barnaby Tucker, Irene Molloy, Minnie Fay, Ambrose Kemper, Ermengarde, and Ernestina Money. He would hate me for telling you but hed lost control of his bowels. I asked her if he made her wash the bits he cant reach. And what did she do? Im going to admit something I never thought Id admit to anyone ever. (moves to Fale, jabs him with a finger) You think I told her about the Army of the 12 Monkeys? Its weird to say this, because in many ways Im already in so deep. Upgraded. Im all walking like Ive got a paintbrush up my arse, thinking: Ambrose Kemper: This doesn't concern her! One of my favorites is from ""Hello Dolly!" You just take Katrina to the dance okay? Youre sorry?! All right. He tells me theres a one in four chance Im not fertile, that I cant be a father, like. Ten years. How many times have I heard that? Corey was older than me, bigger than me and a whole lot cooler than me. And God knows we tried. Quotes." Henry: So I stood there in the shop, and there were loads of congratulations cards new babies, pink and blue, storks with bundles, balloons, all spewing out. So how can I be yours? She needs a commanding stage . Then, in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but he moved to Indiana, and Janis was, like weirdly jealous of him. based on one crazy, thoughtless, inexplicable romantic night. I expect. But I just-I just wish women would say what they mean. I lost 75 pounds. You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I dont want you to get hurt. Dolly Levi: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. Yeah, its whatever, but this once, in the grocery store, were at Albertsons and were pushing four baskets around you wanna know how humiliating that shit is? Beatrix: Imagine the guilt they would feel for not allowing you to choose your husband unwisely. There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. Its a wonderful age. Is everything alright? No dear. Eric. Bores you?! Impossible! Now if you dont mind, I have some unfinished business to attend to. Hows he gonna love something that looks like that, get all sexy with her? There are days when I rather be a man.. Made me compare with Hermias sphery eyne? It had to be! Martin was in the loungeroom watching television and I was in the kitchen doing the washing-up. PUT EM DOWN! Holy shit, theres stock boys bunch of guys I know, even are running down the isle. Youd have a chance at least. I get off the bus after one stop and walk back to school, so I can hang around the bus stop hoping hell turn up. I wish I was joking, but Im not. Its like a teacher waved a magic wand and did the work for me. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN WHO ARRANGES THINGS. Shes so pathetic. Who knew those would be the magic words? Gonna be insane. Im even gonna get a compact disc player. Who should get into the lift with me on floor number seven? Martin wouldnt be wanting his dinner because Martins not with me any more. No one at Westerburgs going to let you play their reindeer games. Doug: Here are five reasons why you should see this feel-good showcase, breezily directed with audience-friendly engagement by Brian Sharp and featuring fabulous turn-of-the-century costumes by . Some feeling? Thats where were at now, and now some pricks actually done something about it, and killed three thousand people, and the Americans are fucking mad as hell, because they know every single one of them is on that plane hurtling towards the Twin Towers and they dont like it and theyre not going to stand for it, and theyre going to get the pricks thatre threatening them. And you will help me. And in conclusion, may I remind you that it doesnt say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. You say youre sorry? A nice manly slap on the back. yonkers and new york city, the end of the 19th century, College/University, Community Theatre, High School, Professional Theatre, Religious Groups. Hello, Dolly! Because the fact is we just met yesterday. I see a man walking towards me from the bus stop. So what Im thinking is Oh man, this is so brilliant, its scary. Its totally weird, like, taking all your clothes off and having sex with someone you barely know, and then being like Whats up now? You know? Yeah, check me out, cos its never gonna happen, Chub Chub. 11 chapters | Im not kidding you. Cos I got bored and had sex with you? ), Hey you, whatsyername! If you really loved me you wouldnt need to ask. He called me by my name. My Brewster, no one ever called him a great mind, even he hits the can seventy percent of the time. I had my first beau at eleven. I had to stand up to her. Girls were going to be in their bathing suits. Your email address will not be published. Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book file PDF. But then I remembered. I think you are an amazing woman, I honestly do. And all of a sudden I didnt know who I was anymore. There was one, with a photo of fat little baby feet, next to a card which said Its your birthday, lets get wankered. Carter: I was interrogated, x-rayed, studied thoroughly. She is a widow in her middle years, an opportunist and a meddling matchmaker. (a beat) Well, I didnt mean that in any kind of lascivious way, so I dont know why you want to take it like that. This team includes Andrew, Alex, Luke, Jake, Indiana, Patrick and more. So, hey, Lise you wanna go see Judas Priest at Nassau Coliseum? He spotted me, took a deep breath, launched into another two-hour rant about what a rough deal it is whinging, complaining, whining. Dead? Let the food smile. Martin, I said. --Rochelle O'Gorman Genre: Comedy, Musical, Romance Stars: Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau, Michael Crawford, Marianne McAndrew Production: 20th Century Fox Won 3 Oscars. The monologue must be from a play or musical you have not performed in. And I cant be the only thing you like! I get a car right away. Look Some of the best minds in our country peeing all over the floor in this here facility. Just this, like, one tear I see as were sitting at a stoplight on the way home. Yes folks, its true. Then, using the computer model, they generated every thought I could possibly have in the next, say ten years, which they then filtered through a probability matrix to determine everything I was going to do in that period. If elected I promise that I will pray more often. I have to figure out what Im doing. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake, Rosalind: Act 3, Scene 5 - Definition, Artists & Instruments, What Is Rumba? Dont repeat that. Just for a minute. Then I realised that the smell was coming from the lounge room. Society just wants to put everyone in a box. Than she a woman: tis such fools as you Thats a fact. The story is adapted from the 1955 play 'The Matchmaker'. The conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero. And who Im totally hot for at the same time. But then one of the other doctors popped in, called him Nigel, mentioned something about badminton so I thought: probably not. So theyre out there somewhere helping themselves. For I must tell you friendly in your ear, At first, I couldnt think of any reasons. Dolly Levi: Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire. But doth not the appetite alter? Stuffed in a box like that, I mean youd be in there for ever. Dolly Levi: As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'. One year later, she went back for a second interview. And she cant help herself. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. nuts! Maybe one night Im at a party, a bar, whatever, and I met a girl, and right off we know its a mutual attraction situation, and we have a little chat and a drink maybe, and next thing you know were in a cab, and theres a physical thing thats happening, and were chewing each others faces and trying to decide where to go, you know, your place or mine, only hold the phone here, there is no decision to be made, because youve got a key to my place, and I dont know if youve dropped by or what, and I dont want to chance putting either you or me in that awkward situation, so its off to her place somewhere in the East Eighties where Ive got to climb over her two roommates and three cats to do it on a foam mattress on the floor real, real quiet like because Sally my roommate has a commercial callback at nine- thirty in the morning and this whole time Im having some resentment towards you because your having a key meant that it had to be the cats and the floor and Sally the roommate asleep or nothing. They want you to slay a dragon for them one second, then cry at a guide dog commercial the next. Her boyfriend was the whale in the corner, blocking the door to the toilets. Irene, my dear, congratulations. Into the shower. Harrys a bit fat. I worry for a second Im going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. My friend Boomers hooking me up a job at the Mercedes dealership on Jericho Turnpike. See what Im saying? HELLO, DOLLY! I think we should switch places. Set in New York City at the turn of the century, Hello Dolly! She's a widower and meddling matchmaker. She had five cats. In a couple of minutes the whole bloody house was alight and within half an hour there was no bloody front door to knock on. I thought, I dunno, I thought maybe they were so close together they felt like one, or maybe when one was down there, the other was off doing somethin else like I dunno, I just never thought about it. How was I to know he was about to die. Theres this man, Michael. This thing with Naomi-okay, it should never have happened-but it didnt have to impact on what I have with Meg. Matchmaker Dolly Levi is a widow, a matchmaker, and also a professional meddler --but everything changes when she decides that the next match she needs to make is to find someone for herself. The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time not enough to be serious just enough to make me restless and giddy. But every year, to this day, they spend a couple of weeks apart and then when they miss each other so much they cant stand it, they meet in a tiny hotel room for exactly two hours and re-live the passion of their youth. Life in a box is better than no life at all. I know its hopeless. Course it was a woman doctor. You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie! I have a man, I love my man and I do my best to be polite but the irritation and the cheesy lines are getting to be too much. The role Horace Vandergelder was a lot of fun to. They called me a freak. Ive been at the hospital, Kayleigh. Listen to Jerry Herman's score, and dance around the living room when a sequined Streisand arrives in a club as Louis Armstrong strikes up the title tune for her benefit. Her love interest is Horace Vandergelder, who owns a feed store and is a half-a-millionaire. They just don't make musicals like this any more. I put it to you, Camp Firewood, as we spend the last dinner together: Be proud of who you are. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come from her. Hunted. And he starts in on how hes just this total fuck up and maybe he should just throw himself off the roof. We fight. Even so, it was, you know, embarrassin and the mad thing is the room was upstairs with the curtains open and didnt the 19A fly past and the whole top deck nearly broke their necks for a gander. I dont believe in them. Tim: Way under list price, payments deducted from my check. Squire Squire, Hackham and whos the other one? I PUT MY HAND IN HERE. Look, sex and love are separate thingsWell, they can be, thats all Im saying. And as can be ascertained from the lyrics she is a very excitable figure, the life of the party so to speak. AND THEN OF COURSE I STARTED GOING FUCKING STIR-FUCKING-CRAZY THINKING OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD HAVE SAID. Hello, Dolly! I take half an hour trying to look nice and I ended up looking amazing. Care about you a lot, and that makes it superhard. Martin couldnt stand unidentified smells. 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Cohan: Biography, Music & Songs, Hair the Musical: Synopsis, Songs & Characters, Hard Rock Music: History, Artists & Bands, Hello, Dolly! Hello, Dolly! My dad was always working late golfing on weekends, and I knew it was because of her. Flowers, notes, guinea-pig memorabilia were left outside in her memory. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; Nice shoes faggot you got mousse in your hair lets put mousse in his anus! Id be flipping through MAD magazine and just put the thing down and take it. And if its to do with letting the house then youll have to ring the house-agents, because theyre the agents for the house. Glittering stage numbers showcase a commanding Barbra Streisand as Dolly Levy, a New York matchmaker who can find a mate for anyone. New York, NY, SM for Poor Yella Rednecks Wed finished our dinner. They get enough practice thats for sure. Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer: Why, it must be requited. Break a finger, maybe. Anyone but herself, that is. Jonquils became an absolute obsession. Louis Armstrong's "Hello, Dolly!". Your parents. Thats how it is with women. Because if you do, your parents will always know the unhappiness you feel for not being able to disappoint them. SO, I PUT MY HAND IN THERE. Just how big a target do they need, you figure? I think youre ready to hear a little story about a girl named Megan who didnt have a very good time in high school. My entire life! How about that? Script Call on Dolly If your neighbour needs a new romance Just name the kind of man your sister wants, and she'll snatch him up Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts and she'll match 'em up Call on "Mrs Dolly Levi." Its hard to imagine the Grim Reaper with a shuttlecock. Emily: So what am I doing here, Audrey? She closed the curtains after that. Three people died. Meredith: Left the shop. Terrify me. Hello, Dolly! Come and join the fun in our online acting class, Copyright 2023 StageMilk | an ARH Media PTY LTD website. My own mom. Take a look at our library of free monologues . Ive got a crush on Adam. They met in a donut shop. I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Like, totally. Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, Ill go and look. Well, okay, um There were a few times that I couldve done that. No, Mr. Brents not hereHe lives here, yes, but he dont live here now because he lives in Spain Mr. Philip Brent, thats right. I mean, right? Monologue from Hello, Dolly!-Cornelius Hackl - YouTube 0:00 / 1:58 Monologue from Hello, Dolly!-Cornelius Hackl Singing Rome 42 subscribers Subscribe 11 Share 1.1K views 7 years ago Show more. But they wrote the most incredible, passionate letters every day, and they really made those two hours count. Im outta here. I confess Im, in no small part, to blame for all the gossip that has turned my varsity letter scarlet. And facts are supposed to be true. Or wasted? On "Hello, Dolly!", the narrator/singer is actually addressing a fictional character by the full name of Dolly Gallagher Levi. - Definition, History & Artists, What Is Rap Music? They love me. Fleabag: One day, I was reading some Shakespeare and realized I dont really love this person It was one of the sonnets. Rosencrantz: I mean, you know, despite the fact that Im in a fat suit that I cant take off and despite the fact that everyones making fun of me behind my back and despite the fact that your little girlfriend gave me the stink eye in class yesterday. The fact is, you hardly know me! Its a fairly effective combination. Michael: She decided to walk into a busy cycle lane wanting to get tangled in a bike. O, I am out of breath in this fond chase! We all work together to contribute useful articles and resources for actors at all stages in their careers. For the next three years, they were allowed to see each other only once a year for two hours. plays nightly (excepts Sundays) at 7:30 PM through June 10, with additional matinees at 12:30 PM and 4 PM on Saturdays and at 4 PM on Mondays (starting May 8) and May 12 and 19, at Hale Centre Theatre (9900 South Monroe Street, Sandy).

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